Review: If Not for My Baby by Kate Golden

4 stars

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Initially, I rated 5 stars, but I bumped it down when I realized the book is kinda a Hozier-inspired fanfic.

If Not for My Baby is centered on Clementine Clark a small town Texas girl who never left her hometown of Cherry Grove. She gave up on her dreams to take care of her mother, who has fibromyalgia, and she struggles to make ends meet with her waitress gig. She is a musical theater geek who got a scholarship to college and declined to go to take care of her mom. She is jaded about love because of all the failed relationships her mom has had since she was a teenager. Her manager at work is one of her exes and a friend with benefits.

One of her best friends who got the same scholarship attended college and she is slated to be a backup singer for Halloran a popular Irish singer. Clementine’s friend lets her know that she is in the running to perform as the opening act for a big popstar, and when she gets the gig, she suggests that Clementine is her replacement on the Halloran tour. At first, Clementine is hesitant to accept the gig, but she realizes the payment from the tour can help her pay for the clinical trial that she wants her mom to participate in. She was never a fan of Halloran, but she dedicates her voyage to the first tour to listening and memorizing his whole discography. She comes to love his music and is a bit starstruck when she performs with him. Pretty quickly, she realizes that her manager, whom she thought was content to be friends with benefits, is not, and he wants a committed relationship with her. She feels bad because she doesn’t care for him the same way. When she is having that conversation, Halloran happens to eavesdrop and they have an interesting discussion about it.

After that, there is a bit of romantic, aka sexual, tension between Halloran or Tom, as he wants her to call him. Halloran is very withdrawn, and he often retreats to his ensuite on the tour and does not engage with the band much. The band is an interesting cast of characters that add some dimension to the book. I think the intention was a slow burn, but the romantic plot went from 0 to 100 without much thought to character development and pacing. It feels like all of a sudden Halloran is obsessed with Clementine, and a lot of his character motivations are not revealed until almost the end of the book, so we are left in the dark until the final act of the book.

At first, I did not like Clementine because her personality was unlikeable. It took a while for me to even root for her HEA with Halloran. I did not realize this was heavily Hozier-inspired until I read some Goodreads reviews, and the book seemed more like a fanfic after that. I love a good fanfic, but I think that because of the nature of Halloran's characterization, he is a bit one-dimensional throughout the novel. Because Clementine spends a lot of time with the band without Halloran, they are larger than life, and we get to know them more than Halloran. I think it's worth a read to form your own opinions on the novel.

Thank you to Berkley, Penguin Random House for the ARC copy and this is my honest review.